Thursday, April 10, 2008


So my tida, Dandoo and her husband BIL are expecting.  Because I am creative, I thought about using her sonogram picture on a tee-shirt to give to her when I just saw her a couple of weeks ago, saying "Foetus's first Easter".  Because I am slack, this did not happen.
We have taken to calling the unborn one "Bumpy".  It amuses me greatly for many reasons.  One, hearing my nephew say Bumpy in his slow Georgia drawl is funny as all get out.  Second, the name makes me think of Bumpy Johnson, the gangster and the contrast between our sweet, innocent pre-baby and a violent gangster leaves me rolling.  Third, Dandoo did not want us to call the wee one Bumpy, which is mainly the reason why we decided to call it Bumpy.  Personally, I would like it enter university with this moniker, having graduated high school as Bumpy Townes.  We knew someone like that: his cousin asked his mum if they could nickname him Tidy Bowl.  So they did, which was shortened to Tidy, which then morphed into Toddy and again shorted to Todd.  He graduated high school as Todd Jones (or whatever the hell he's called cos I actually don't remember him very well, but the story certainly stuck), but he name was completely different.
Anyway, back to Bumpy.  Reason four for Bumpy: it's a better name than It.  That's what Dandoo was calling the Bumpster.  And let's be clear, it has to be spelled B-U-M-P-Y, not B-U-M-P-E-E, as the Grandmother spells it.  Cos Bumpee is just wrong.  It's like something you buy someone that they put their nappies in. 
Dandoo does not know Bumpy's gender and is considering name for both.  She has just vetted Brio, saying something about Italian music and stuff like that.  As I was saying to her, if names were on a scale, one side being cool (James Bond, anyone?) and one side being funny (Chikezie, anyone?), then Brio would be this side of funny.  Am I not right people?
Here are some of my suggestions (I'm totally in favour of what one friend called "Old Skool Bibilical Names", the odder, the better):
Matilda (or Mathilda)
Honeybee (wrong, but cute)
Blakely (I have a friend with that name, but I like)
Cupcake (again, wrong, but so right)
Hosea (heard it just recently)
Ezra (Better than...)
Dexter (call him/her Dex)
Now that I think about it, maybe it was good I didn't get the Foetus's First Easter T-shirt for Dandoo, as we now have established that Foetus's name is actually Bumpy.  So maybe I'm not so slack after all.  Well, considering I have a mountain of work to do and I have written two blog entries in quick succession, I think I'd better wear that slack hat after all.


Blogger Zandra Towns said...

As I have said many times before, the baby's name WILL NOT be Bumpy. Once it comes out, it is no longer a bump but a person. With a name.

Thursday, 10 April 2008 at 18:54:00 BST  
Blogger Autumn said...

Boy's friend Rob thinks you should name the kid Leighton Buzzard. Lovely name. Then the kid could be nicknamed Laid and Buggered.

Sunday, 13 April 2008 at 12:21:00 BST  

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