Bumpy

So my tida, Dandoo and her husband BIL are expecting.  Because I am creative, I thought about using her sonogram picture on a tee-shirt to give to her when I just saw her a couple of weeks ago, saying "Foetus's first Easter".  Because I am slack, this did not happen.

 

We have taken to calling the unborn one "Bumpy".  It amuses me greatly for many reasons.  One, hearing my nephew say Bumpy in his slow Georgia drawl is funny as all get out.  Second, the name makes me think of Bumpy Johnson, the gangster and the contrast between our sweet, innocent pre-baby and a violent gangster leaves me rolling.  Third, Dandoo did not want us to call the wee one Bumpy, which is mainly the reason why we decided to call it Bumpy.  Personally, I would like it enter university with this moniker, having graduated high school as Bumpy Townes.  We knew someone like that: his cousin asked his mum if they could nickname him Tidy Bowl.  So they did, which was shortened to Tidy, which then morphed into Toddy and again shorted to Todd.  He graduated high school as Todd Jones (or whatever the hell he's called cos I actually don't remember him very well, but the story certainly stuck), but he name was completely different.

 

Anyway, back to Bumpy.  Reason four for Bumpy: it's a better name than It.  That's what Dandoo was calling the Bumpster.  And let's be clear, it has to be spelled B-U-M-P-Y, not B-U-M-P-E-E, as the Grandmother spells it.  Cos Bumpee is just wrong.  It's like something you buy someone that they put their nappies in. 

 

Dandoo does not know Bumpy's gender and is considering name for both.  She has just vetted Brio, saying something about Italian music and stuff like that.  As I was saying to her, if names were on a scale, one side being cool (James Bond, anyone?) and one side being funny (Chikezie, anyone?), then Brio would be this side of funny.  Am I not right people?

 

Here are some of my suggestions (I'm totally in favour of what one friend called "Old Skool Bibilical Names", the odder, the better):

 

Levon

Matilda (or Mathilda)

Honeybee (wrong, but cute)

Leighton

Blakely (I have a friend with that name, but I like)

Thurston

Cupcake (again, wrong, but so right)

Liam

Hosea (heard it just recently)

Ezekiel

Ezra (Better than...)

Josiah

Jocelyn

Pearl

Dexter (call him/her Dex)

Eli

Moxie

Tamryn

Apple

Rodney

 

Now that I think about it, maybe it was good I didn't get the Foetus's First Easter T-shirt for Dandoo, as we now have established that Foetus's name is actually Bumpy.  So maybe I'm not so slack after all.  Well, considering I have a mountain of work to do and I have written two blog entries in quick succession, I think I'd better wear that slack hat after all.