Allowance
If you believe relationship experts, the top five things couples argue over are money; sex; work; children and; housework. Thankfully, as Boy and I have no children, we are not arguing over the bairns. And for us, we can score housework off the list of potential arguments. I have found my soul-mate, in terms of housework: we both avoid as much as possible.
But we more than make up for it with our (figurative) knock-down, drag-out rows over money. He thinks I'm a spendthrift; I think he's too tight at times. Great combo, eh? What probably has made the situation worse is the way we handle money. Despite our attitudes to money, we combine our income in a joint pool. Our money happened quite from the beginning and we believe in it so much that scoff at other couples that don't do it: obviously we are committed to each other -- properly -- because we share everything, including the money. Ah, the logic of the self-righteous.
However, this leads to rows when Boy, although concerned about what is being spent, is inattentive about outgoings. Then at the end of the month wants to know where all the ducats are, particularly what I spent. I always object to the line-item retelling as insulting, as he should been paying attention before. He insists on knowing, while I rage, insulted. And the hilarious circle begins.
But after only four years of marriage people, we are combating this issue. We are giving each other an allowance to spend on what we like. There -- no more arguments. Or so we thought. What about Boy's driving lessons? They will benefit me, so the joint account should pay for it, he reasons. (We won't get into the fact that he failed his first test, facilitating a £150+ bill for additional lessons and testing) And my Master's work will benefit the house, as I will, by the time I get my degree, be making thousands more a year.
And this issue hadn't been considered: I bought some resources for work out of my own allowance, spending at least five-eighths of my monthly money. I knew it was dear, but I had been wanting these books and so I purchased them. "You reaslise this money has to last you to the end of the month." Aye. "And you get no more money." Yes. "What could you possibly have spent all that money on?" It was the first time I didn't have to give a line-item account and it felt good.
But we more than make up for it with our (figurative) knock-down, drag-out rows over money. He thinks I'm a spendthrift; I think he's too tight at times. Great combo, eh? What probably has made the situation worse is the way we handle money. Despite our attitudes to money, we combine our income in a joint pool. Our money happened quite from the beginning and we believe in it so much that scoff at other couples that don't do it: obviously we are committed to each other -- properly -- because we share everything, including the money. Ah, the logic of the self-righteous.
However, this leads to rows when Boy, although concerned about what is being spent, is inattentive about outgoings. Then at the end of the month wants to know where all the ducats are, particularly what I spent. I always object to the line-item retelling as insulting, as he should been paying attention before. He insists on knowing, while I rage, insulted. And the hilarious circle begins.
But after only four years of marriage people, we are combating this issue. We are giving each other an allowance to spend on what we like. There -- no more arguments. Or so we thought. What about Boy's driving lessons? They will benefit me, so the joint account should pay for it, he reasons. (We won't get into the fact that he failed his first test, facilitating a £150+ bill for additional lessons and testing) And my Master's work will benefit the house, as I will, by the time I get my degree, be making thousands more a year.
And this issue hadn't been considered: I bought some resources for work out of my own allowance, spending at least five-eighths of my monthly money. I knew it was dear, but I had been wanting these books and so I purchased them. "You reaslise this money has to last you to the end of the month." Aye. "And you get no more money." Yes. "What could you possibly have spent all that money on?" It was the first time I didn't have to give a line-item account and it felt good.
posted by Autumn at 1.6.07
1 Comments:
Hooray for allowances!! It's the way to go. Never did like the my money, your money concept. If you're a couple, your money should be coupled. Unity indeed!!
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