My World Cup hell

This year's World Cup is being held in Germany starting in June. Boy and I are huge football fans. Now the Boy is a serious fan, knowing names and stats. I'm a bit more of a fair-weather fan. I'm not going to succumb to the sexist idea people have: the man watches for the game, the woman for the colours of the kits. I actually do like football and played all four years in school, All-Island All-Star, a first in my school's history, thank you very much. Also, I've been to the World Cup before in 1994. So there. I think my football qualifications have been firmly established.

Anyway, I thought it would be nice for us to go, since we're so close and all. I realise I have very few football fans out there and you all won't give a toss about what I've been through with the last ticket buying round (suffice to say, we did not get tickets), so I'll take the story from the present: I've been at the computer now for 30 minutes, this hell beginning at 11.00 AM. Good news: tickets are available! Yay! Bad news: on a limited basis and certainly not for the game we were lusting after. Crap! Additional bad news: we are working on a first come, first served basis. I'm going to have to upgrade to a cry of 'Shit!', don't you agree?

The only tickets available are for the third place game and various group stage matches. I mean, do I really care about Iran v Angola or Ivory Coast v Serbia and Montenegro? I know it's the beautiful game and all, but that's just a tad ridiculous to watch a match of team you don't give a damn about. And pay €100 each ticket (or £70, or $120) for the privilege. After counsel with the Boy (Me calling his work: "Not there? Ok, uh... tell him to call me back... ASAP. Seriously. This is a matter of life and death."), I've decided to go for the third place game.

Well, it's now been 40 minutes since I've logged on to the website, and after a change in choice (no longer concerned with third place game and going for Brazil v Australia), there has been movement. I am now "in waiting area at the 2006 FIFA World Cup Germany™ ticket shop." Sadly, this will not be the end: "At regular intervals, you can make a fresh attempt to be re-directed." It gets worse: "Once you have been redirected, you will not be directed into the waiting room again." I am waiting for the waiting room! I am waiting. For the waiting room. The saga has only begun...