Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Synopsis of episode "#blamediddy"

Today's blog will be written in the style of a TV synopsis, as found in such publications as TV Times or TV Guide

Starring Autumn, Boy, Mil, Fillee, Sarah-Dogg and Samantha-Dog

Autumn learns an important lesson about hash tagging after stumbling upon a thread in Twitter called #blamediddy...

This episode sees Autumn realising that, though she has not eaten anything in the last 24 hours, she does not have swine flu and really does have to go to work. Later, she realises that the ills of the world came from one source: the rapper Diddy. She continues to play destressor for Boy during Mil and Fillee's last night of their visit. However, Boy and Mil part with a kiss after a nice meal together, with everyone realising that they should blame Diddy.

Also, Sarah-Dogg and Samantha-Dog go on the exact same walk twice in the same evening. Too bad bitches - blame Diddy!


I have been thoroughly enjoying the #blamediddy phenomena that hit the Twitter on Wednesday, 4 November. Basically, it is Diddy's birthday, but instead of wishing him happy birthday, the Twitter community has been naming and shaming him on all the things can be blamed on him. I categorise these tweets in five groups:

1) Legitimate, realistic Diddy blames, which include
  • the break up of Danity Kane (as well as other acts, including but not limited to Faith Evans, Total, 112, B2K, Day 26, Shyne, several unsigned artists) (not that I'm crying)
  • Shyne getting deported
  • Auto Tune

2) Potentially legitimate, though more surreal Diddy blames, such as
  • the death of the Notorious B.I.G. and/or 2Pac
  • inflicting Craig Mack and Dylan from Making the Band on the world
  • Mase becoming a preacher
  • JLo singing sad songs
  • 40-year-olds doing the "Harlem Shake" (so sad, as I still do the Harlem Shake, as I only learned it two months ago)

3) Fashion Diddy blames: brothers wearing
  • shiny suits
  • thin ties
  • mohawks (is Diddy rockin' a mohawk these days?)
  • sunglasses in clubs

4) Non-legitimate, surreal Diddy blames:
  • global warming or world hunger
  • broken limbs
  • when the internet runs slow
  • somebody's cousin not learning English

5) And my favourite: Oh Snaps. These are particularly funny to me, leading to me giggle and say, "Oh SNAP!" as I read them. They include blaming Diddy for
  • the wearing of white linen trouser by men. In December.
  • the shortage of Cambodian breast milk (great reference to the dearly departed Dave Chappelle Show)
  • for using up Harlem's entire supply of S-Curl products from 1998-2001 (just cold to hate on folks about their hair)

You don't like this post? #blamediddy


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had given up hope. I'm so happy you're writing again. Damn, you're funny!

Thursday, 5 November 2009 at 03:20:00 GMT  
Anonymous atw said...

i think #blamediddy is now turning into #blamekanye. twill be interesting.

my addition:
hilarious legal battles over the nomenclature of bad stage names #blamediddy

Friday, 27 November 2009 at 23:23:00 GMT  
Blogger Lorna&Iain said...

You are absolutely hilarious! So glad you're back bloggin.

You're NO right!!!!!

Monday, 4 January 2010 at 09:33:00 GMT  

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