Sunday, October 25, 2009

I gotta feeling...

My volleyball team seems to have a team song: the Black Eyed Peas' "I gotta feeling". I'm such like a grandma, every time that song comes on I turn to one of them and say, "Now who sings this?" I kinda hate the song, but I like the feeling it does evoke in us: pure joy, as it was played after we won a particularly intense game.

As I was walking the dogs, the old MP3 fired off 'Return to innocence" by Enigma and Enya. OK, no judgements about my musical taste - you should all know by know by now it's pretty shite. However, it reminds me so much of Okinawa and when I was in high school. The reminiscing was so overwhelming, I wanted to cry in the street. I think it was coupled with the knowledge that I would be going back to Okinawa for my first time in 16 years. I will make no qualms about it - I was a total gaijin when I lived there, but it was my home, innit. I lived there for almost 10 years. And you put your head round that: never going back home for 16 years. That's half a lifetime ago.

Boy thinks it's weird that I'm this emotional and I've only had one Japanese lesson and we don't go until April. True dat, but my multitudes want me to feel, so I listen. I feel a great sense of trepidation. This is where I'm from and yet, what if I don't remember anything? I don't know if I can really articulate it right now as I am literally in the middle of my emotional maelstrom and I'm going down. All I can say is that I gotta feeling...


Blogger hadashi said...

first of all, welcome back.
second of all, GIRL, I FEEL YOU. last time i was in Oki was for you peeps' graduation. yeah, that long ago. and damn, i miss it. when (not if) i get back there, i will be an emotional dishrag, i know it.
accept your maelstrom. when Oki was home, we were gaijin, literally Outside People. after we left and realised it WAS home, we constantly had to defend that assertion. but Cuzzy TumTum, it is our home. and i'm so, so happy you're going back. it won't be anything like we remember, i'm sure, but you'll layer the new on the warmly remembered and make it your own all over again.

Monday, 26 October 2009 at 03:43:00 GMT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree with hadashi ne-chan...

and if you dont cry while you are here...ill secretly feed you a handful of wasabi and force the tears, kiddo... ;) you know you can trust me, right? ;P ive missed your blogging and have wanted to kick you in the pants and tell you to not take no responses as personal rejection. hell, there are too many things to keep up with on this internet world... so that's why i bug you in the middle of the night on my weekends. hee hee... im sorry! i DO love you and am glad to hear you getting out your feelings. you need to, kid... doggonit... im gonna hug the crap out of you when i see you!!!! ;) oxoxo

Monday, 26 October 2009 at 14:14:00 GMT  

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