The irony

Do not, my dim-witted American friends, let any British (or anyone else, for that matter) convince you that you don't have/do/get irony. Americans do. Americans are, however, incredibly inclusive and want to make sure that no-one is "out of the loop" and everyone knows that they were "just kidding". This is how I've become British: I don't give a toss if anyone knows that I'm kidding. [That, there, was an ironic statement, as I am such a goodie-goodie, I am desperate for everyone not to think I'm so self-centred that I wouldn't "give a toss"] Here are some stories for further illustration. I will probably be peppering my tales with loads of irony. But as I don't give a toss, you won't know if I'm telling the truth or not. [Irony]

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I'm on myspace, in case you didn't know. It's for networking. Okay, it's for trying to hook up with underaged boys. [Irony] Alright, it's really only for the surveys. [You would think I was being ironic, but, alas, no]

I was doing a survey done previously by my sister. Here's how I answered number 43, "Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?"

No, but I've used it to knock someone out. [Irony]

My sister sends me this frantic email:

You have GOT to spill the story about knockin' bitches out with the fire extinguisher. Give! Where (sic) you in a bar brawl or fighting off inturders (sic) at home? I can't even imagine you doing that. Please tell me.

I felt just awful for making her believe that I would ever do such a thing. [Irony]

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This story is a bit unusual, as the recipient of the ironic statement was not only British, but English, who, according to Boy, are the ultimate authority in irony.

At volleyball training tonight, I was assigned a position (5, if you really wanted to know) and Chick beside me was assigned 1. However, she was told she had to pass the ball to the other side of the net from position 6, then scurry over to position 1. Just to make things more difficult. [Irony] Essentially, the two of us were doing three people's work.

Chick did very well with this challenge. Unfortunately, she was caught out of position once. I said, "What? Who was supposed to be covering position 1?" [Irony] She threw her arms up in incredulous frustration [not irony, but incredibly comical to me], so I had to reveal that I too possessed the superpower of irony and I had thrown my irony lasso round her. Then I hopped off in my invisible plane to hang out with my Amazonian sisters.

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Now I leave you with a tale of questionable irony. I laughed heartily when I read this, but I mostly because I saw this in the middle of writing this blog about irony. Boy is convinced it isn't irony, and I'd have to concur.

A friend of mine stupidly posted her home address on myspace when another friend requested it. I sent her a private message to say I didn't think that was such a hot idea. Now imagine yourself as me. Scary to be sure, but do. Imagine, like mine, a life entrenched in irony. [Irony] Now read her response and experience the same joy I did.

You are right, I've heard someone got killed from My Space. Ding Dong.