My hols

With friends from the US here, I'm spending my Easter break visiting some of Scotland's finest tat. Let's see, we've been to the National William Wallace Monument, Stirling Castle, the Parliament, Blackford Hill and loads of restaurants and countless and nameless pubs, particularly to the early hours of the morn. However, my favourite place visited, by far, has to be the Britannia.

The Britannia was the Queen's royal yacht. It was decommissioned in 1997 and it has been said repeatedly that the Queen was incredibly emotional at the ceremony. She likes her boat better than others. Anyway, the boat is totally in a time warp and it killed me.

It still kills me. The things that killed me in particular:

• The pictures of the Queen and family all over the boat, even in the mess of the sailors. Delightful.




• The guy in the fudge shop who scoffed distainfully when this silly tourist, me, said I wanted to buy a wee piece of fudge. "How long have you been here?" he said, sniffing. "Four years." Bitch.


• There was only single beds in the whole of the yacht, even in her and Prince Phillip's room, and the only double bed was placed in there by sexed-up Prince Charles.


• Would the royals have to pay to look out this viewing telescope on the deck? Or would some servant arrive with the money?


• The tiny accommodations were crazy! The bunks with the curtains were for the higher ranks. So only the officers could have a wank in peace.

Hopefully the rest of the pictures will be up later on Shutterfly.