Saturday, April 29, 2006

Heatwave, and other anomolies

This is me turning British: Man, it was hot yesterday. I was sweating as I walked to get the dogs (and it has nothing to do being fat, thanks) and had to take my coat off several times. The sun was shining and it was really nice. As I am now turning British, I am obsessing about the weather and counting and looking forward to every sunny day, like a crack addict looking for her next hit. The weather is the only topic of conversation you can have with a total stranger -- please know that visiting Americans. You may not speak unless it is about the weather: how crap it is, how lovely it is, how "not bad" it is, how it's been worse this time of year. Even to ask for directions. Yesterday, in the land of the United Kingdom, it was a heatwave.

Now here's me still American: get a hold of yourself people, it was not that damn hot. Temperature yesterday: 15° Celsius. And in real measurement: 59°F. There are some people in the States that won't even leave their beds if it's 59! I mean, people were going crazy. The Meadows was chock-a-block with people yesterday. But that's on the student side of town (and where Boy works). I don't know how many damn Frisbees I saw out, sailing through the air. And people with shorts and shit. One girl even had the nerve to only have her sports bra on. Bitch, please!

On my side of town, things were a little more reserved:

Another way I'm still American: I have an afflnity for American flicks. I have to see them even more now that I did while living back there. I miss hearing a wonky American accent and sometimes I need (bad) American jokes. Plus, it's the only way I get to hear any Black people's voices. Yesterday was 16 Blocks. I would have probably never gone if living in the US. The alcoholic drunk thing with crazy, yammering pest of a Black sidekick? Liked it the first time when it was called 48 Hours (yeh baby, I'm going back!). We were supposed to see Junebug, but my heart told me I needed something... less. If 16 Blocks were on a bell curve, 100 being average and standard, it would get a 105 or 110. The other thing weird about the cinema experience here is that people don't whoop and clap. To get a unified guffaw is a lot. I embarrassed myself (and the Boy) by whooping at one bit of the film. Which bit, I don't remember. That tells you what kind of film it was: entertaining, but entirely forgettable.

Pet walked me two-thirds of the way to hip-hop dance class. On the way, we called in at Valvona and Crolla, this shop stocking food from Italy. It's the only place to buy provolone cheese. It also the only place to buy sourdough bread, and as Pet is from the West Coast, this was a big find for her. Not just sourdough, but SAN FRANCISCO sourdough.

Unfortunately, there was none left when we arrived. I didn't tell her this at time, (but as she reads this, she will soon learn) I'm a bit dubious about anything that claims to be American and you have to be doubly dubious if it claims to be something from a specific place in the States. I mean, they can't even realise that bison don't go to the ATL (unless they're into rap), so how can they get our food right? I've tasted many an "American" food product over here and they are all shite. AB-solutely, every single one of them. Shite. But hey, good luck on the sourdough Pet!

Tonight is Jets' big night out and awards night. We are all dressing up and having an Italian meal. But its all a pretence, as the real point is to get hammered big time. Why don't we just wear our jeans so it's easier to when we have to bend down to vomit? Anyway, I've got this fantastic dress from Armstrongs', the vintage dress shop. Here's my rule of thumb when shopping vintage (shopping period): looks good on hanger - looks crap on me; looks crap on hanger - looking great on me. Actually, it's what I live by. Anyway, this dress looked like pure shit on the hanger, but I gave it a go. It has a very 40s, glam feel to it. I feel like Veronica Lake in it - v curvy. I'll wear the sexy black shoes and I'm hot baby!

People, this is my 100th blog. Thanks to all who've read all 100 -- you're MAD!


Blogger Zandra Towns said...

Enjoy the weather while you can. soon summer will be here and the you will be bitching about the heat and the bugs. Do you have bugs in Scotland? The weather here is slightly odd. The cool side of spring has lasted longer than I've ever remembered. You know how it is, the 50-60 degree weather is here for like a week then Mother Earth cranks it up to the 80s for the rest of spring. But this year the cool side of spring has stuck around for the past two weeks!! Its crazy!

Saturday, 29 April 2006 at 17:48:00 BST  
Blogger Autumn said...

Won't be bitching about the heat -- not really, anyway. There's very little humidity here, which is the major bitch about hot weather. And no bugs down here. They have midges up north, which are essentially gnats that bite.

Saturday, 29 April 2006 at 19:32:00 BST  
Blogger hadashi said...

congrats on the 100th post... but you (lovingly said) freak! how could you turn on your tropical roots?
just having returned from Ireland, where the weather was a similar 14-15 degrees, this still-tropical girl walked around wearing a scarf and coat with cute fuzzy collar. i was treated to looks of disbelief from wacky Irish people in tank tops, zoris, and shorts. what the...? of course i was staring at them in disbelief as well...
one girl actually referred to the temp as a "blazing hot 57 degrees."

Sunday, 30 April 2006 at 20:51:00 BST  
Blogger Autumn said...

LOL, Hadashi!

Haven't turned on my ruts, tho. Take me back to the warmth and I'll readjust quickly. See, when you live here, you have to make the best of it, or you'd cut your toes off in despair.

Sunday, 30 April 2006 at 21:55:00 BST  
Anonymous yaknowit said...

"cut your toes off in despair"...NICE. i shall have to borrow that one from ye. by the way, did you not know that bison really are from the ATL? yep, thanks to ted turner, who single-handedly brought da buffalo back. however, the general consensus is that the smokey bones chain is better than the ted's montana grill chain. speaking of movies and the ATL, have you seen it yet? i keep meaning to. t.i. is from my personal hood (bankhead) and i still have a soft spot in my heart for him since hitting his van 3 years ago. he was very sweet, and even called to check up on me a few days later. awww. not like that would happen these days. although it really is a small city. the brdls just realized today that usher goes to his gym and he's been working out next to him all this time without noticing (i said, "i'm sure he appreciates that.")...even though a few years ago he was supposed to do a show with mr. ush. if i recall, one of his neighbors was some sort of management posse guy...but they've lost touch. see, you have to snap them up before they're too big! actually, i like this! i could keep running down the list of big hip hop peeps i'm one degree away from! ho ho! what was i saying? dat's right. i did want to say how much i love Americans at the Movies. you're all on the same team (well, except for when people laugh at the wrong times, showing cultural insensitivity and making me want to beat them down)... one of my favorite A @ the M Moments was during Shrek II. you know, when anthony banderis begins pleading for his mewey life and gives That Look? yes, it was a simultaneous and beautiful corporate "AWWWWWWWWW" from the audience. lovely moment amidst whooping and clapping. love it.

(please excuse the drugges out nature of this comment...i'm sick and drugged out...)

Friday, 5 May 2006 at 01:31:00 BST  

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